Letting Go for the New Year

The 20 Things You Need To Let Go To Be Happy

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WELLNESS •  • JUL 19, 11:44AM

Everyone has one common goal in life: to achieve true happiness. The biggest factor holding us back from achieving our dreams is, simply and sadly, our own selves. We put limitations on ourselves everyday, whether intentionally or unintentionally. There are so many ways we can alleviate these restraints.

Remember, life can either be something you embrace or something you hide from. Stop making things complicated and just live your life. It would be so much simpler and more enjoyable if we learned to just release certain limitations.

Let’s take a look at the things you need to let go of in order to become a happier person.

1. The Approval Of Others

Who gives a sh*t what other people think? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then whose business is that but your own? Think of how much you could achieve if you stopped letting other people’s opinions dictate the way you live your life. Do you, and engage in whatever actions you think might better your life.

2. Anger/Resentment

Anger will eat at you from the inside. Learn how to make peace with those who have wronged you. This isn’t about letting the other person off the hook; it’s about alleviating the pain that resonates within you. Keep in mind that he who angers you, controls you.

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”

3. Negative Body Image

There is only one person’s opinion you should be concerned with when it comes to your body and that is you. No one person determines what the “correct” body type is. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and you are healthy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Do not let others tell you that you’re not beautiful because if you believe you are, then you are.

4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner

There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” – Bob Marley

5. Perfect Life

Just like there is no perfect partner, there is also not a perfect life. Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth effort, you will most likely end up miserable. The choices you make will directly reflect the life you lead. It is up to you to create the best possible world for yourself.

6. You’re Going To Be Rich

Too many people live their lives with the thought that they will be millionaires. While this can be a realistic goal for some, it is not something that can be achieved without hard work and dedication. Stop letting money be your sole motivator; find acareer you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it completely.

7. The Idea That Good Fortune Will Arrive At Your Doorstep

You need to go out into the world and actively look for fulfillment. You cannot take a backseat in life and expect things to happen for you. Appreciate the life you live, and be grateful for what you have. Value each minute of every day. Live like there’s no tomorrow, and make the most out of any situation.

8. Excuses

Make no time for excuses. You want to work out, but you don’t have the time? Wake up early and get your gym on. Excuses are only rationalizations that make you feel better about yourself for not doing something you want/need to be doing. You desire results? Stop bitching, and start doing.

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9. Thoughts Of Your Ex

This person is your ex for a reason. If you are going to think of him or her at all, try and think only about the lessons the experience taught you. Do not linger on any old feelings, as this will only prevent you from being happy with someone else in the future.

10. Stubbornness

I know it’s hard to admit, but sometimes you are just wrong. Other people have just as much capability as you do in providing the correct answer, so stop being stubborn and just embrace it. The less stubborn you act, the more open you are to learning new things. Think of all you could be exposed to if you stopped believing in opinions other than your own.

11. Procrastination

Stop thinking you will finally get to whatever task is at hand tomorrow. Live in the present, and get your sh*t done when it needs to be done. Maximize your time to the best of your ability. Complete each task you need to as soon as you can. This allows you to feel free from worry and stress by getting things out of the way as soon as possible. You also allow yourself more free time to enjoy the things you love.

12. Your Baggage

We have all been hurt one time or another by someone we loved, or we thought we loved. Carrying negative feelings into future relationships will only prove to be disastrous. No two people are the same, so it’s unfair to hold a future partner to a standard set by an ex. Try to begin each new relationship with a clean slate.

13. Negativity

What you put out into the universe will come back to you, so change the way you think, immediately. Stop thinking of life as a glass half empty, but rather, half full. You have so much to be grateful for, if only you took a moment to appreciate it. Anything is possible in the mind of a positive thinker.

14. Judgmental Thoughts

Why do people feel the need to constantly worry about what is going on in other people’s lives? If we spent as much time worrying about our own behaviors as we do worrying about those of others, our lives would be a whole lot more meaningful. You have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so who are you to pass judgment on the way they act?

15. Jealousy

Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have. Stop envying others and learn to appreciate what you have. Everyone’s life is unique; you have certain things to offer that others cannot. When we act in a jealous manner, all we do is bring negative feelings into our lives. There is absolutely nothing to gain from behaving this way.

16. Insecurity

Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.

17. Depending On Others For Happiness

At the end of the day, the only person you can count on 100 percent of the time is yourself. Do not make the unfortunate mistake many people do and put your happiness in the hands of others. A relationship is not going to fulfill the void if you can’t even make yourself happy. You need to achieve happiness on your own before you can find someone else to share it with. This creates a detrimental dependency that will prevent you from becoming self-sufficient.

18. The Past

Stop living in the past! There is virtually nothing you can gain if you wallow in mistakes you have previously made. Take past mistakes as lessons learned, and move forward. You cannot wholeheartedly move on to a better future if you are constantly looking behind you. Things happened, and that’s that. Take them with a grain of salt and move on.

19. The Need For Control

Sometimes you just need to let life happen the way it is meant to. You cannot spend your life stressing about things that are outside of your control. Try to relax, and let things play out naturally. Embrace the unknown, as this is where you will be surprised the most. Let yourself be whisked into unforeseen endeavors, and relish in the excitement they bring.

20. Expectations

Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. If you let go of expectations, you will never be disappointed. Often, we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Do not expect a certain result from any given situations. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.

Post Christmas Gathering with the Arpin/Allinghams

Potheads

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Another gift exchange with the Arpin/Allinghams has come and gone. This year everyone brought their favorite appetizer which included Baked Brie with Apple Compote, Chili con Queso Dip, Mushroom Turnovers, Eggplant Garlic Dip and Assorted Flatbreads. I feel that by keeping a record of these events, that I can at least hold on to the good times for a bit longer…

Potato Pesto Flatbread

Potato Pesto Flatbread

Mustache Margarita #1

Mustache Margarita #1

Mustache Margarita #2

Mustache Margarita #2

Whooooooa...

Whooooooa…

Conversation

Conversation

Preparing the baked brie with apple compote

Preparing the baked brie with apple compote

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Some of the appetizers: flatbreads with barbecue chicken, fig & balsamic glazed vegetables and pesto chicken

Some of the appetizers: flatbreads with barbecue chicken, fig & balsamic glazed vegetables and pesto chicken

Gabe has found my headphones...

Gabe has found my headphones…

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Pottery Barn find

Pottery Barn find

Admiring the ornaments

Admiring the ornaments

Santa's little helper

Santa’s little helper

Bag head

Bag head

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A shaker that says "if these walls could talk, they would say we're both plastered."

A shaker that says “if these walls could talk, they would say we’re both plastered.”

Bringing Dad back to his college days...

Bringing Dad back to his college days…

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Whoa, Momma.

Whoa, Momma.

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Keeping the tradition alive with the british cracker crown

Keeping the tradition alive with the british cracker crown

Jacob & Dan

Jacob & Dan

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These parties always end too soon.

These parties always end too soon.

Ready to brave the cold.

Ready to brave the cold.

Potheads

Potheads

After-Christmas Shopping: Indulging, Exploring

Red Robin Gauc Burger w. their famous seasoning

Red Robin Gauc Burger w. their famous seasoning

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It was nice to get out for a while with Lisa and to enjoy a juicy burger and seasoned fries at Red Robin, to explore the unique displays at Evergreen Walk and come home with some good deals!

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Stonewall Kitchen classy display

Stonewall Kitchen classy display

The Pottery Barn bag matches my sacarf.

The Pottery Barn bag matches my scarf.

Pure Magic

Pure Magic

Book Wreath (front)

Book Wreath (front)

Book Wreath (back)

Book Wreath (back)

glass objects

glass objects

wallpaper forest

wallpaper forest

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book art

book art

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guardian

guardian

Adventures with Thibaut: Turkey Burgers & Christmas Exchange

Adventures with Thibautms2

In search of a new coat for Thibaut at Mohegan Sun, we ended up at Bobby’s Burger Palace and exploring the famous gingerbread house with its crumbling walls. We then exchanged presents and dined on seared scallops, roasted root vegetables and chocolate mousse for desert. 

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Thibaut is enabling my crazy sock and fox obsession.

Thibaut is enabling my crazy sock and fox obsession.

A unique Christmas card from Thibaut

A unique Christmas card from Thibaut

As part of our gift exchange, I received a new camera from Thibaut. I love the clarity and light quality ( I used it to take the photos below):

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Crostini w. fig ja & cheddar

Crostini w. fig jam & cheddar

festive post-Christmas centerpiece

festive post-Christmas centerpiece

Scallops seasoned, ready to be seared

Scallops seasoned, ready to be seared

Seared scallops with roasted root vegetables

Seared scallops with roasted root vegetables

Sparkling wine

Sparkling wine

Thibaut pours the sparkling wine

Thibaut pours the sparkling wine

perspective

perspective

: )

: )

Frank L. Wright-inspired light

Frank L. Wright-inspired light

Silver glow

Silver glow

relaxed

relaxed

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What a goofball – love him

Christmas Day 2013

Christmas Morning visitors - Pat  &  Doug

Christmas Morning visitors – Pat & Doug

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Another Christmas has come and gone, in a flash it seems. We had a few visitors stop by for brunch and opened presents later in the day. While I recieved many of the gifts on my list, I was reminded that “the best things in life aren’t things.” I am thankful for such a wonderful family with whom I could share such a special day.

Roasted Vegetable Fritata with Mimosas

Roasted Vegetable Fritata with Mimosas

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Cheers!

Cheers!

red bliss potatoes washed for garlic mash

red bliss potatoes washed for garlic mash

Chopping the potatoes for later

Chopping the potatoes for later

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Mom's gift from Santa

Mom’s gift from Santa

Dad's favorite author

Dad’s favorite author

Seasonings and sauces + snowflake glasses

Seasonings and sauces + snowflake glasses

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Trying out the calogne

Trying out the calogne

Mom knows what's in the box

Mom knows what’s in the box

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Making the garlic mashed potatoes

Making the garlic mashed potatoes

The table is all set

The table is all set

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Enjoying the neighborhood lights

Enjoying the neighborhood lights

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Camera tricks

Camera tricks

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Christmas Eve 2013: A night of tradition & change

Carbound to Voluntown

Carbound to Voluntown

Dad knocks

Dad knocks

Holly

Holly

conversation

conversation

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Brianna and the Boys

Brianna and the Boys

"Is this thing real?"

“Is this thing real?”

Blue winter sky

Blue winter sky

Holly Trio

Holly Trio

A visit to Uncle Bob

A visit to Uncle Bob

Uncle John's Reese's

Uncle John’s Reese’s

Yuletide

Yuletide

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"Where's the on button to this thing?"

“Where’s the on button to this thing?”

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Aunt Jn made an ornament out of last year's card where I "elfed" myself.

Aunt Jan made an ornament out of last year’s card where I “elfed” myself.

Wild crew

Wild crew

Little Christmas village

Little Christmas village

The first microwave ever.

The first microwave ever.

Ethan & Grandpa

Ethan & Grandpa

The Bailey's has solidified - it expired in 2004.

The Bailey’s has solidified – it expired in 2004.

Ethan is ready to go to bed -so that Santa can come.

Ethan is ready to go to bed -so that Santa can come.

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Uncle Don in his favorite chair

Uncle Don in his favorite chair

Uncle Don in the olden days

Uncle Don in the olden days

Aunt Jan as Doris Day

Aunt Jan as Doris Day

Watch over my spoons, sweet angel.

Watch over my spoons, sweet angel.

One last cookie for the road.

One last cookie for the road.

Presents await their Christmas Day appearance at Mum and Dud's

Presents await their Christmas Day appearance at Mum and Dud’s

25 Days of Appreciation – Dec. 23: Internal Power

25 Days of Appreciation - Dec. 23: Internal Power

Photo Credit: Thibaut Schilt

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We look out into the world and see people who are hugely successful. They have it all: looks, charm, power… They make it look so easy. The power comes from within – where we need to train our mind to realize that we also have much to offer. How we see others is often an illusion. They, too, may see us in the same manner. It becomes gratifying to realize our own potential and power, and to not believe everything we think. As the Dalai Lama states: “Human potential is the same for all. Your feeling, ‘I am of no value’ is wrong. You are deceiving yourself. We all have power of thought – so what are you lacking? If you have will-power, Then you can do anything. It is usually said that you are your own master.’ I had a conversation with a Thibetan shop owner today who reminded me of this concept: “your mind can be pure like the ocean, only if you cultivate it that way… All too often in your culture, people use money to fill the void, when improving your thoughts costs nothing. Just as we use daily exercise to improve our physical health – it is incredibly important to do the same with the mind. You have the power to take your thoughts and use their energy for your benefit,” I acknowledged the man’s advice by saying it was nice talking to him, and left with a confirmation that I am more powerful than I think. Our mind is incredibly powerful – and we can use it to our benefit or against us. It just takes a lot of practice.

25 Days of Appreciation – Dec. 22: Exploring New Territory

25 Days of Appreciation - Dec. 22: Exploring New Territory

Photo Credit: Thibaut Schilt

To take the time to explore a place you’ve never been is to clear the cycle or pattern your mind falls into. Sometimes we need to leave a common place to feel renewed and whole again. A trip to Tiverton with Thibaut allowed me to take in a whole new sensory experience as fog rose over a distant island – giving it a dark silhouette against a burst of light. Often times we take part in new experiences, in hopes that the unknown will renew our spirits.

25 Days of Appreciation – Dec. 21: Gathering Perspective

woolf fire

By sharing our experiences with others, we confirm that we all share a struggle or hurdle in our lives. To hear their perspective reminds us that we are ultimately here to lift others up and remind them they are not alone. All too often we are stuck in our own cycle, that we don’t always recognize what others are going through. It pays to gather perspective outside of ourselves and to use it to move forward with our lives.